Deep-Dive Men’s Group Midlife Gay Men’s Retreat in the Northern California Redwoods
Is there a space in your life where you can speak your unvarnished truth? For many queer men navigating the complexities of their 30s, 40s, and 50s, finding a circle of peers for honest and deep conversation is a profound challenge. We invite you to a midlife gay men’s retreat dedicated to creating that very space. From October 30th to November 2nd, 2025, join us for the Midlife Gay Men's Retreat, a weekend centered on the transformative power of men’s group work. Set amidst the ancient Northern California Redwoods, this retreat offers a safe, expertly-held container to voice your midlife truths among queer peers who truly get it.
This is an invitation to be seen, heard, and supported in a community of no more than 15 other kind, curious men. Ready to connect on a deeper level? Reserve your place in the circle today. You can also discover other community-focused experiences on the Spirit Camp retreats page.
Men’s Groups: From 1960s Consciousness-Raising to Modern Authentic Relating
The concept of men gathering in intentional circles to share their experiences and support one another is a powerful modern evolution of an ancient practice. The contemporary men’s group work in Mendocino finds its more recent roots in the social and cultural shifts of the 1960s and 1970s. Inspired by the consciousness-raising groups of the feminist movement, some men began to form their own groups to question and deconstruct traditional masculinity. These early circles provided a space for men to explore their emotional lives, challenge societal expectations of stoicism and competition, and discuss topics like fatherhood, relationships, and vulnerability in ways that were previously unavailable to them. This was a radical act of self-inquiry, laying the groundwork for a more emotionally intelligent and authentic form of manhood.
The movement gained further momentum in the 1980s and 90s with the rise of the mythopoetic men's movement, popularized by figures like Robert Bly, author of "Iron John." This branch of the men's movement used myths, poems, and storytelling to help men connect with a deeper, more archetypal sense of their masculinity. While sometimes critiqued, this movement was significant for encouraging men to look inward, acknowledge their emotional "wounds," and seek healing and growth within a community of other men. It emphasized the importance of male elders, mentorship, and ritual, creating powerful, often wilderness-based gatherings that fostered profound personal breakthroughs for thousands of participants.
As the 21st century dawned, the landscape of men’s work continued to evolve, integrating psychological principles and new communication modalities. Practices like "authentic relating" and "circling" emerged, offering structured frameworks for relational mindfulness and empathic communication. These modern approaches moved away from archetypal exploration and toward the practice of being radically honest and present with one another in the moment. The focus shifted to developing skills for deeper connection, emotional transparency, and relational intelligence, applicable not just in the circle but in all areas of life. This evolution has made men's work more accessible, practical, and relevant to the challenges of contemporary life.
Today, a gay men’s circle retreat represents a vital and specialized evolution of this history. As documented by resources like the Wikipedia article on the men's movement, creating affinity spaces is crucial for deeper work. For queer men, these circles provide a unique sanctuary to discuss shared experiences related to identity, belonging, career, and relationships without the need for translation or fear of judgment. It is in these safe, affirming containers that participants in a transformed men’s retreat in Northern California can forge lasting bonds and explore the path of midlife with authenticity and courage.
Photo of Deer Haven, one of the our many unique cabin spaces. This cabin has three beds. Cabins have between 1 to 8 beds each and provide several different sleeping arrangements for midlife gay men’s retreat. All cabin spaces are included in transformational men’s retreat Northern California.
Photo of Group Glamping Tents Setup in Sunset Meadow. We have 10 Glamping Structures that can be added with 1to 3 beds each. This can increase bed capacity of campus to 50 guests across 20 unique accommodation spaces.
Seasoned Circle-Holders—Jeff & Andrew’s 1,500 Hours of Facilitation
The power and safety of a gay midlife men’s coaching circle depend entirely on the skill of its facilitators. Your guides for this weekend, Jeff Sun and Andrew Blotky, are seasoned circle-holders who bring a wealth of experience to this work. Together, they have amassed more than 1,500 hours of professional coaching and group facilitation experience. They are experts in the art of holding space—creating a structured, non-judgmental container where every participant feels safe enough to be vulnerable, share openly, and listen deeply.
Their facilitation is not about giving advice; it’s about asking powerful questions and fostering a dynamic of peer-to-peer support and reflection. As gay men who have navigated their own midlife journeys, they understand the unique themes that can arise for this community. They skillfully guide conversations around purpose, relationships, career, and community, ensuring that the group process is both deep and generative. Their steady, compassionate presence allows for a powerful collective experience, making this redwood men’s retreat a truly transformative opportunity.
From Fire-Lit Evenings in Magic Meadow to Dress-Up Disco in Redwood Lodge
The experience at Spirit Camp beautifully balances deep inner work with joyful, communal celebration. The heart of our group work will often take place in the Magic Meadow, a special clearing in the redwood forest. Here, we will gather for fire-lit evenings around two large fire pits. Imagine sharing your story under a canopy of stars, with the warmth of the fire and the grounding presence of the ancient trees creating an atmosphere of intimacy and trust. These sessions are where the deepest connections are often forged, held in the sacred quiet of the forest night.
But transformation isn’t always serious. In contrast to the deep work, Spirit Camp also invites playfulness and fun. The magnificent Redwood Lodge, with its soaring ceilings and warm wood interior, can easily transform into a space for celebration. The lodge features a chest of dress-up clothes and even a disco ball, inviting moments of spontaneous joy and laughter. After a day of profound conversation, letting loose with a spontaneous dance party is a powerful way to integrate the experience and build camaraderie. This blend of sacred depth and campy fun is what makes the Spirit Camp vibe so unique and healing.
Nestled in Northern California’s Redwoods, Accessible from Napa & Sonoma
This powerful midlife gay men’s retreat is held in one of the world's most awe-inspiring landscapes: the Northern California Redwoods. Spirit Camp’s 27-acre campus is a sanctuary of second-growth giants, fern gullies, and profound natural quiet. The energy of these ancient trees provides a grounding backdrop for our deep-dive group work. While it feels like a secluded world away, the retreat center is surprisingly accessible. It is located just a scenic two-hour drive from wine country, making it a convenient getaway for those in Napa and Sonoma counties. This proximity allows you to easily transition from the rolling vineyards into the majestic, forest-bathed stillness of the Mendocino coast.
Frequently Asked Questions About This Retreat
How large is each circle session?
To ensure an intimate and powerful experience for everyone, all group circle sessions will include the full cohort of participants. We are intentionally limiting the retreat to a maximum of 15 participants, so every circle will be a small, connected group. This size allows for ample time for each person to share if they wish and fosters a strong sense of community and trust throughout the weekend.Are off-site hotels an option?
Yes, participants are welcome to arrange their own lodging off-site if they prefer. The charming town of Mendocino, with a variety of hotels, inns, and bed & breakfasts, is only a ten-minute drive from Spirit Camp. If you choose to stay off-site, you can still fully participate in all meals and scheduled retreat programming on the Spirit Camp campus. This provides flexibility for those who may want a private en suite bathroom or have other specific lodging needs.Do I have to share in the group if I'm shy?
There is absolutely no pressure to share in the group circle until you feel ready, if at all. The facilitators are highly skilled at creating a safe and invitational space. While sharing is encouraged as a path to connection and insight, your presence and deep listening are equally valuable contributions to the circle. Many participants find that as trust is built, their comfort with sharing naturally grows. You are empowered to participate in the way that feels most authentic and supportive for you.
Walk the Pygmy Forest Boardwalk & Ride the Historic Skunk Train
For a truly unique natural wonder, extend your trip with a visit to the Pygmy Forest at Jug Handle State Natural Reserve or Van Damme State Park. Here, you can walk along an accessible boardwalk through a bizarre and fascinating ecosystem. Due to highly acidic, nutrient-poor soil, the cypress and pine trees that grow here are dwarfed and stunted, some over 100 years old but only a few feet tall. This ecological staircase showcases five distinct forest terraces created by geologic uplift over hundreds of thousands of years. It’s a powerful and humbling lesson in resilience and adaptation, and a fascinating contrast to the giant redwoods at Spirit Camp.
For a journey back in time, book a ride on the world-famous Skunk Train. This historic railway has been chugging through the redwood forests of Mendocino County since 1885. You can choose from several routes, including the scenic "Pudding Creek Express" out of Fort Bragg, which takes you on a 7-mile roundtrip journey into the serene Noyo River Canyon. The vintage railcars wind their way over wooden trestle bridges and through groves of majestic redwoods, offering a nostalgic and enchanting perspective on the forest. It’s a delightful adventure that captures the history and romance of the region’s logging past.
This is more than a retreat; it’s an opportunity to forge lasting bonds and gain profound clarity on your path forward. This midlife gay men’s retreat is a dedicated space to do the deep work of the heart in a community of supportive peers. Learn more about this transformational journey and book your spot. You can also explore all of our similar themed retreats here.
TOPICS:
midlife gay men’s retreat, gay men’s circle retreat, men’s group work Mendocino, transformational men’s retreat Northern California, midlife gay men’s coaching circle, redwood men’s retreat, Northern California Redwoods, Northern California, Napa, Sonoma
